From
the moment we are conceived, we are encased. The womb is like a nest—it keeps
us safe as we grow and become. But there is nowhere that we can go but within
the womb. We are trapped. Yet it is a good sort of trapped. Like when you
haven’t seen a best friend who’s really touchy for a long time and when you do,
they won’t let go. You are held within a warm embrace that is perhaps a bit
uncomfortable, but you know you can relax and still be protected. And although
this is wonderful, there is still an itch trembling along your body to be free
and move and let the wind ripple through your hair once again.
It is like this in the womb. A
baby is fed, protected, and can grow and be nurtured for nine months. It’s as
if they’re suspended in space, connected by a single lifeline, and just waiting
for the day they will land. The cares of the world pass them by. But this isn’t
enough. They must feel freedom soon. So they begin kicking—yearning for a way
to breathe air and feel the grass and see their mother’s face.
Then the day comes—we land. We
become more and more who we are meant to be. But as we grow, we quickly learn
that there are rules. There are expectations. There are things put on us—chains,
iron bars, a square box. Our thinking is limited. Our expression is limited.
Our speech is limited. Our creativity is limited. And we spend our life either
sitting in a corner of this box, keeping to ourselves and conforming to the
standards that society had placed upon our already weary and bent shoulders; or
we spend it running around the box, reaching through the bars, and yelling and
kicking and screaming…vying for an opening of time—just a wee little slot of
sunshine for our burdened souls to bask in.
But because we’ve been
conditioned to live in these cages for so long, this process is a difficult
one. It takes bravery—even just an ounce—to stand up and do something. We feel
trapped by our fears, society, failures, and our own dreams and pride. We are
scared of what might happen if we fail. We are scared of what might happen if
we succeed. We are scared of what people might think. We are scared of what we
might become. So we believe that if we do nothing, everything will be just
fine. But in doing nothing, we are wasting away in dusty apathy. Is this really
how we want to spend our lives—tethered to a rusted gate that cuts into our
core at every chance it’s given?
I’m exhausted. It takes a lot to
run around my little cage that seems to get tighter with each year I let my
fears weigh me down. They scream into my heart and mind false accusations and
allusions that I believe more often than I should. You aren’t good enough. You’ve failed too much in your past. You’re
failing too much now to make a difference! People already think you’re
different and weird…if you stay quiet and don’t take a step into freedom, maybe
they’ll accept you a little more…be like them. If you step out there, it’s
going to hurt too much for you to take. You are going to FAIL.
Burdened by these whispers of
poison, we remain stagnant.
This
was the goal of the poison all along, after all.
To keep us from realizing that
the cage has been open the entire time.
I am going to be brave...what I mean by that is one part of me wanted to email you first and find out if this comment was between just you and me...in others words private. I guess I am still in the cage and feel secure in the cage. Though I make myself leave the cage for all different reasons mostly good ones I hope, I sure look forward to going back into the cage. The cage is a place of safety,familiarity, and comfort to me. I like where you started your writing...in the womb and I found your writing thought provoking but also admired your own openness and vulnerability. Your wanting to help others with their fears is charitable. I am getting to know you by what you are writing though it could make me alarmed or anxious about and for you instead I have peace.
ReplyDeleteWow, hello hello! I am so glad that you have decided to be brave and comment. You are certainly right in saying the cage is a place of safety, familiarity, and comfort. It's what we're used to. It's much easier to stay in the place of comfort because newness (even when it's good and better) is scary and difficult. But stepping out is certainly necessary for growth. Oh, it is hard to step out. But it is beautiful to spread our wings and fly.
DeleteThank you so much for stepping out and leaving a comment for me! I appreciate it greatly--it's wonderful to know people's thoughts, because more often than I probably should, I doubt whether or not my writing is any good or if it's reaching people or helping people. But it's God in me, because I can't do any of this on my own.
I am glad that you have peace! I pray that Jesus would help you step out of your cage and spread your wings, dear one!
Thank you for being honest yourself!
Rachel